I DID IT!!! I TOOK THE BAR DOWN!

The law school adventure finally ended in May of this year. It was awesome to have nearly all of my family there to support me. But graduation was just another step on the way to becoming an attorney...there still loomed the bar exam.

After returning from our cruise with the Nieders, I jumped in head first to studying and preparing for the bar. Study was intense, every bit as much if not more than law school had been. The exam consisted of two days of testing: 12 essays covering topics from tort to contract to criminal law to civil procedure; and one day consisting of 200 multiple choice questions.

Just to make things interesting, Jen and I headed up to Utah 2 weeks prior to the exam to pick up Gavin. Those two weeks were to be the mother cram session of all cram sessions. However, I managed to study but 20 hours in a two week period. Which is how much I was told you need to plan on studying in a two day period to pass. I knew that if I did my part, and trusted in the Lord, that he would see me through; and that he did.

On Friday, October 10 I learned I passed the Arizona Bar! Yea!!! Woohoo!!! The relief from having passed that test was one like few I have experienced. Now all I need is for a committee of people who have never met me to exam the 50+ pages of background information I had to send them and deem me good enough to practice law.

Thank you so much to everyone that supported me through law school and the bar. Especially my wonderful wife, who had to deal with my stress, my anxiety, and my irritability. Without her support there is absolutely no way I would have made it through. Not to mention how she is the best Sugar Momma ever!

BYU (USU) v. Utah (OSU)

Before I begin let me acknowledge that OSU is a much higher caliber team than USU. Year in and year out OSU seems to serve up an upset special (usually on USC), while USU continues to be an average Division II school that somehow manages to stay in Division I.

UTAH
This is an email I sent to my seriously misguided Utah friend:

Hey I was about to give the Utes some respect for sticking in there and winning a game for the conference and showing that the MWC is not a doormat conference. But then you rushed the field....... how pathetic. Why in the world do you rush the field when:

• 1. you are favored in the game;
• 2. you are ranked #15 nationally;
• 3. you are playing against a lower tier Pac-10 team;
• 4. you are playing a team that is not ranked; and
• 5. you are playing a team, that despite upsetting USC last week, received only 3 votes in the AP and 6 in the USA Today polls.

Rushing the field was an embarrasment to the MWC. Rushing the field is reserved for upset wins, games that remove "the monkey from your back," and games that bring championships or monumental accomplishments such as finishing undefeated, or locking yourself into a BCS game. I know you probably agree with everything I said, but man, just when I am ready to give the Utes some love, the boneheaded fans of the U make it impossible. Go Cougars (No. 7!!!)

BYU
This was a game where the Cougars should have rolled. To look at the score of 34-14 it seems they pretty much did just that. However, the Cougars' win was less than entertaining, less than impressive, and in many ways acted like a superior team walking through the motions. The talk of anybody regarding BYU as a national champion is crazy talk at this point. The Cougars certainly belong ranked in the top 10, but a national champion discussion should only happen once the Cougars have taken care of business by going undefeated. The MWC is not a "walk-in-the-park" conference any longer, but the rest of the country is a little slow on recognizing that BYU, TCU, Utah, and even Air Force, are not automatic wins for any team in the country.

Pro Tree Trimmers

*Thanks Brett

Utah Barbies

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Greater SLC market:

'Park City Barbie' - She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a million dollar home. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.

'Draper Barbie' - The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Wind star Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

'Kearns Barbie' - This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife,a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

'East Bench Barbie' - This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

'West Valley Barbie' - This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

'Emigration Canyon Barbie' - This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as newly built high rise condo.

'Magna Barbie' - This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Rose Park Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

'The Avenues Barbie' - This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Avenues Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

'Rose Park Barbie' - This Barbie now comes with a stroller and 2 infant dolls. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. White boy Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

'Provo Barbie' - She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always gone to church meetings.

* Thanks Brett

Post Turtle

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working with the cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man.

Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be President. The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a "post turtle." Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a "post turtle" was. The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a "post turtle".

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain. "You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there in the first place."

*Thanks Bro for the joke

Obama Insane-ia

Too true, too true!